Slowly but surely ?

Things have been pretty calm this week , just the usual not going to school.

Though there has been a little stress with our house guest as much as I love having her and her bubba here it is putting the dynamics of the house out of whack. 

R gets fustrated when the bubba cries or is baby stuff in the way. Also with one couch in the house makes it difficult for us all to sit .

R has really takjen to L's boyfriend and they get along so well . L is R's sister and she also seems to know how to deal with him so it is good at times because they take him for a afternoon here and there and I can have some work or me time.

The mental health unit was great had a hour long phonecall and they will ring back Monday to see what we can implement to help R . The lady was very understanding and knew what she was talking about and was worried about my boy.

It is so nice for someone to actually believe me when I talk about what he does and won't do.

R's main teacher from school rang also yesterday and we had a chat she is also someone that seems to understand as well. R was going to school today as he loves wednesdays but this teacher won't be there so he is now going friday (fingers crossed) .

I have also been busy and upped 2 out of 3 payments for my debts , only a extra 5 and 10 dollars but it is something.

Business course is finished , just putting the finishing touchs on my business plan to hand in for final assesment.

Also busy stitching away as I had awesome sales at the market depleting my stock . So fingers crossed things are coming back slowly but surely.

Lets see what today brings ?

I rang for a pead appointment yesterday expecting to wait weeks as per usual but lucky us he had a cancellation so off we went . I am really over no car as it took us just on a hour to get 10 minutes down the road !! 

Anyhows (as R would say) it really was a waste of trip as the pead wants another full pysch assessment before giving any new medications as if he gives him something to help with the anger issues it could trigger his suicidal thoughts to be much worse :(  To gain a physch report we have tog o through CAMHS (Child /adult mental health services) This could take weeks and I am at my wits end now. If I had more cash I wuld seriously go private but that is not a option. 

I must say yesterday with R was a reasonably good day, but you are always on edge waiting , I find it hard to start anything as if he starts then I do not get it finished then get depressed.

Also today I had to engage a professional cleaner for my vacate clean of the other house !! The real estate was so picky that I was so flabbergasted . After scrubbing baths, showers, wiping cupboards mopping floors with bleach they had the gall to say they were still dirty !! People that know me , know that I clean thoroughly !! So even though it is going to cost me money I am paying someone to clean the house for me. 

So budget was blown out this week but fingers crossed it makes I get my bond back !!

That is all for today as I need to go to the other house and open for the cleaners. 

Slowly

Morning, the slacker in me has not got back to here but I must say I am still paying my debts off and am happy about that be it only a small amount each week it is still something !

My other main problem is my 12 year old son , this will sound harsh but I am at my wits end and some days wish someone would take him away.

After a family weekend away which is rare as I despise taking him out in public , a relative said something to me and I will be making another appointment to the pead to see about diff meds as the one he is on is helping with some symptoms but not the anger issues , the selfishness, the hate, the cursing, the violence and so much more. 

Sounds like a spoilt child ? Yes he very well could be but his behaviour shows otherwise. I am sick of being bruised and battered , I am sick of not being able to go out without him , I am sick of him annoying his siblings to the stage they get angry (which he wants) then I have to sit on him and hold him down then I get punched kicked , even bit last night. I have had pitchforks aimed at me, I have had sticks, stones you name it and I have had it thrown at me. He wrecks the house the furniture, he has no care for anything. He does what he wants when he wants . You ask why don't I discipline ? Well I do but he has no regard for authority ! This year for school he would be lucky to have gone a whole 5 weeks out of 20 plus !! I just cannot get him there , the meltdown is not worth it :( I am worried the department will come get me.

I have just finished a course and wish to open my own shop and make a successful business but I am so worried that I will fail as I cannot leave him home with his siblings, he will not go to school and he will just misbehave if he comes with me.

Oh how I would love a day of peace , no arguing (bickering is ok) a lovely day out  or even some time to myself.

But I just keep smiling and trying to go forward !!

The HIGHS before the Lows !

Good Morning , The 1st of July is here !

The end of one financial year and the start of another .

Slack me has not done bookwork for 2 years ! YES you read right 2 years so this is my aim this week to get down and go through bank statements, paypal figures, website figures and the likes to try and put some semblance to the numbers to send to my accountant.

WHY you ask have I not done my tax ? First I am slack , second my last partner did not believe in me or my business and a few things to him were not important , tax being one. 

On the way to the new me and getting on top of my finances this HAS to be done and SENT this week !!

Secondly we have applied for a cheaper house so fingers crossed for a approval this week and we can start the moving process .

I was a bit worried about finances and having to pay 2 rents for a couple of weeks, where will i find bond etc. But once again the universe is helping me well centrelink is. I forgot because I receive carers allowance for one of my children I also receive a lump sum at end of financial year. I also will receive the school kids bonus all in time for the move . Coincidence ? Who cares it is going to help . Yes I probably should pay the credit cards with this but moving will lower our costs in the long run and I can put the extra money onto the cards.

Also the last week the business had some awesome sales and a great day at the market yesterday so that has really helped as well with the finances.

I have made a payment plan for the dud business deal and also the credit cards now get a extra $5 per week .

I am going to have the home phone disconnected as I can use this same amount of money to give my boys a mobile each with unlimited calls and actually works out $10 cheaper. 

well that is all I have to update with today.

I will let you all know if I am approved for the house and the budget tips I intend to have for that. 

D-Day

I am really not liking myself . I tend to rely on others to try and help me out or sweep the debt letters under the carpet, refuse the phonecalls and hope they all dissapear. BUT you know they don't and I am really at te bottom this time with no way of gaining a loan because of a bad credit. Should I blame my failed relationship ? In some parts yes I think I should but in reality it really was my fault ! (WOW cannot believe I just admitted it is my fault) And it is MY fault NOONE elses but MINE so I need to really take responsibilty and deal with it. So here are my debts for all to see and honestly I do not care anymore. If my family and friends see so be it . My family will only say its all your fault told you so , you won't see sympathy or help from them. My friends will no doubt say why didn't you say , we could try and help !!  Amazing the difference between the two really when most times it is family that try and help.

Debts ................

Credit cards $6000 and a bad mark on each :(

A old business acquaintance            $400 with lawyers fees

That is all to some it is huge to some it is little to me it is embarrassing .

My first thing is to find a cheaper home , we pay $410 a week rent here and it really puts a dent in the budget !! 

Today we are applying for a house that is $85 cheaper so fingers crossed we are approved , even though we will have break lease fees and have to do carpets and make sure this house is all beautiful and clean in the long run . I think it will be much better also more central and closer to town so less petrol and boys can ride to school .

Well that is all I have for now as I need to knuckle down and clean my house , go through and see if there is any items i could sell to pay off these cards quicker.

Oh the other thing is I run a Sewing Business and I tend to spend my home money on that so from now on I will only be using the fabric I have on hand and not taking on any custom orders. 

I am really determined this time to do this on my own and get my life back on track !!